#parenting

Long been a fan of Jean-Pierre Jeunet, so when I recently learned he'd made a kid's movie that slipped under my radar (The Young and Prodigious T. S. Spivet), I watched it with my sons. Sammy was delighted by a scene in which the title character evades capture by posing as a cardboard cutout, and he now constantly mimics it.

My girls.

A lot of people are down on unlimited screen time for kids but it makes zero mess and the kids love it.

--Sammy, thank you for throwing your trash on the ground for me to pick up! --Daddy, you're sarcastic all the time but I don't mind.

[Watching TV with Averill. Toothpaste commercial plays] Averill: Daddy, did you know that I'm one of the 80% of Americans who only brush once a day?

AVERILL: When I have a son, I'm going to name him Sam Houston E. Lee McCullough SAM: I'm going to name my son Fire Squat.

When I was in elementary school I always made fun of Power Rangers without having actually seen an episode. Now it's on Netflix and my kids are into it and I have to admit it's pretty lame.

Dropping the boys off at school today, they went in the front door with a group of other kids. I say "I love you, have a great day!" and some 4th grade girl turns and looks up at me and says "thank you".

SAM: Daddy, look at this mole. --That's your nipple. --I have nipples?

HANK: Bobby, I never thought I'd need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking. BOBBY: Why do you have to hate what you don't understand? HANK: I don't hate you, Bobby. BOBBY: I meant soccer. HANK: Oh. Oh, yeah, I hate soccer. Yes.

I've never been short on Tobias Funke moments, but felt particularly mortified by last night's when fighting to get Sammy in his diaper. SAMMY: YOU'RE TOUCHING MY PRIVATES! ME: DADDIES CAN TOUCH THEIR KIDS' PRIVATES ALL THEY WANT! AVERILL: (Encouragingly from the peanut gallery) BECAUSE DADDIES ARE UNSTOPPABLE!